Bummed

Well the allergist called yesterday and said Sean is VERY allergic to peanuts. The range is 0-100 and his number is 87. So its really high. I am really bummed about this. I know in the big picture of life, he's healthy. I'm sure there are a ton of Mom's out there who would trade places with me. But I still hate that there is something wrong with him. It is a life threatening allergy. He could have a severe reaction to something that doesn't even have peanuts in it, but was prepared a factory that uses peanuts. I don't think a lot of people realize the severity of this allergy. You don't think about it until you start reading the information out there. We always have to have an EpiPen with us. I have to read labels very closely. I have to worry constantly about eating in a restaurant because you don't know what people are touching behind the scenes. I have to worry that some kid who just ate peanut butter at the park and didn't wash their hands is going to touch him. Even a kiss from Daddy who ate peanut butter 6 hours earlier gave him a welt on his cheek.

Like I said, I know it is not the end of the world. People live with it everyday. But I can't help but feel like I did something wrong. Even though I don't have food allergies, I have seasonal and medication allergies so the doc said it comes from my side. And I feel like I ate too much peanut butter while pregnant so I caused this allergy. In my rational mind, I know I didn't eat nearly enough to do that, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I just don't want him something worng with him. I want him to be "normal" and eat whatever he wants. I want him to enjoy Halloween and not be worried that the candy is going to hurt him. I want him to enjoy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because who doesn't enjoy one? :)

Okay, enough of my pity party. I am very thankful they are both so healthy and I know I have been blessed!